The Hitcher ...

... is a TERRIBLE movie.  I'm sure some of you might like it.  It's not because it is poorly shot or filmed, because that isn't the case at all.  It's very slick and Sean Bean is all kinds of awesome as an actor.  But this movie absolutely sucked.  It sucked and annoyed the hell out of me.  Halfway through the movie I wasn't rooting for the two main characters, I was rooting for the bad guy to just kill them already.  The main character is so freaking stupid it boggles me.  By the time it came to the climax, I really just wanted the movie to be over.  I finished it and wanted the two hours of my life back.  Or I wanted a sequel where the main character gets knocked out for being a clueless bitch. 

This movie gets half a cow for having Sean Bean and Neal McDonough in it.  And that's all it gets.  Do not watch this movie.  You could spend two hours listening to that crap singer off American Idol and have used your time better.  This movie started off promising and could have been so much better.  Unfortunately, it wasn't just bad, it annoyed me [and the two people I watched it with] enough to scream for the main character to get knocked off. 

Stupid movie and wasted talent.  The girl is very selfish.  Very stupid.  Very weak.  Very lame.  It's not a bright idea to run away from the police, Honey.  And when serial killer man is about to kill your boyfriend, you don't waste time trying to get him to say nice words only to have him kill your boyfriend anyway.  She was such an annoying character.  This movie sucked so bad.  Please don't watch it.

Instead, go and see Transformers!  That movie is so awesome!  Or watch 'An Inconvenient Truth'.  Or go hang out with the your Grandmother.  Watch Battlestar Galactica and wonder to yourself how two seasons of awesomeness somehow misfired on the third series and became 'meh, that was still pretty good' instead of 'HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW ON TV!' responses for Seasons 1 and especially 2.  You could also go and get your teeth drilled at the dentist.  Maybe watch stupid junk on youtube.  You could go to the toilet.  You could read Storm Front and think 'Why the fuck does this guy take so long to freaking update?'.  You see, there are so many things you can do, why waste any time watching this piece of shit?

I love you all.  That is why I have the fat cows here to help save your life.  They have saved two hours today by revealing this movie only gets half a cow.  That half a cow has been removed now because I'm hungry.  Therefore, no cows. 

Tomorrow, I might to do a script review of Storm Front.  It's the closest you might get to actually reading it!  But hopefully not seeing it.  I just need to win the lotto.  Someone send me the winning numbers so I can bankroll this baby.  Until next time, you are awesome and I am still your host,

Live well, laugh often, love much.

PEACE!